hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
