I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
