If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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