i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
