so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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