if only i could text you this smell
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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