Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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