nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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