That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
