My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
