so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
