I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
