OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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