Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
