Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
