You really coming over, don't trick.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
