Little spoons don't ask big questions
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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