guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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