I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He felt like a one man threesome
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
