It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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