The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
