I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
