I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
