I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
