She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
