I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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