He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize