She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
is that a dick in a sweater?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
