Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
