thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
