It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize