Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
