**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
it hurts more in the daytime
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
