you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
