chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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