you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
