Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just found a bag of teeth...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
