then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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