My nipple is on Facebook.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
