She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
