and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
