Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
