Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
