She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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