u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
