it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
smell my finger.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize