If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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