Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
