Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
