Already got asked if we're dating
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
