I wannas sexs uuuuu
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
