Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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