Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
