Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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