Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
