**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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