the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
