Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
