I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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