its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
