I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
