Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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