Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
