Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize